There's a cost to be the boss

Alright, lets face it, we are all going to have to pay the price of doing Felasco with Kent. Kent is our friend and he has done so much for all of us over the years, we can't ditch him. So, paying the price is inevitable. Quick math looks like this, we will all be doing a 4 hour ride in about 5.5-6 hours. Kent will probably do it in 7-7.5 hours. Here is where the toll comes in to play. You can pay up front; pre pay if you will. Or, you can wait and pay after all of the accumulated intrerest, which of course is compounded by the mile. Below are the two payment options that I can think of.

1) On the way to the Waffle House in the morning, drop Kent off at the park so he can get started. That means probably driving about 7 minutes past the Waffle House to drop him off, then coming back to the Waffle House afterwards for breakfast. That should cost about 15 minutes worth of your time.

2) Start at the same time, wait for him on the trail as long as humanly possible, then go into survival mode and finsih the last 15 miles on your own. Get to the truck and sit, and wait, for an extra 1 hour or so. Then, finally, everybody go to Sonnys for some crappy BBQ.

What sounds better? Payment option 1, or 2?

2010 - a Kent Odyssey - class, you will be graded

Boot Camp; Focus and Disciplined; 20, 20, 10; Red Dragon. All of these except Boot Camp were failures. It's hard thing to look back at your failures, especially since you want so badly to make a difference. It hurts even worse when you believe you were being more responsible when neglecting yourself. For those that know me you understand kids, bills, Pimlico, Pop Warner football, the storage shed, etc.... For those that don't "know" me I'm sure these just sound like excuses. On some levels they are. I'm just like everybody else, trying to balance life. In reflecting on this year, and nearing the end of my third decade, I came to some conclusions. While I try my hardest to do what I can making others happy, I am missing the most important person - me. Looking back on these blog posts I laugh at myself for whiffing at the plate after calling my shots like the Babe. So for 2010, I'm pulling the ultimate do-over. These are the things I plan to do. Add, edit or delete as you see necessary. As always, insults welcome.

1. Do the right things for my family


2. Continue Bike Chain and related companies


3. Listen more, talk less


4. Ride more, talk less


5. Eat and drink better, and do it slower


6. Promote three events in Tallahassee


7. Sponsor a third party race series


8. Re-enthuse the Florida Mountain Bike Association


9. Win the GSC


10. Spank at least 2 of the crew at BUMP - in a skirt


11. Buy a small car and keep it clean

In the great words of , well me, you are either a winner or a participant - and I don't plan on participating.

Kent

The day Florida (and we) was Frozen

The coldest day in my life was January 11, 2004. Sure, I've been in colder weather. There was that time in the eighties when I was a kid. It was below 10 degrees and they had cancelled school. I was still sent to go get the newspaper in the morning. We lived in the woods and the driveway was dirt, twisty and a couple hundred yards long. I was in a t-shirt and no shoes. I wasn't out there long but it got cold quick. There was the time in the nineties in Colorado when we climbed up the monte cristo mountains (they're really called something else, but the name was close enough to nickname them after the Bennigans sandwich). Us mountain bikers hiked high, beyond the aspens, across a frozen-over creek and finally into a snow covered mountain top valley that had a lake. We skiid on our butts. Big Worm got pissed. His ankles were fried and we did not bring enough food. We were in shorts and pull over jackets, but we were exercising and the sun was out. It was cool but not cold. Last year I was able to go skiing in Breckenridge. Lot's of time on the Internet searching deals turned a $10,000 vacation into actual cost of $3,000 for a family of four (this included transportation). It was one of the best times of my life and want to ski again someday - maybe January of 2011. It was very cold with good snow. But the sun was out and, here's the biggest thing, we were dressed properly. It also helped we were staying on the slopes and could get warm at any time.

So it was we found ourselves getting dressed on an uncommonly cold morning in High Springs, Florida. It can be cold in the morning in Florida, especially in January. But the sun always promises to come out, and the temperature almost always rises above 50. Some of the years we've ridden the Tour de San Felasco it has even been warm, like 70 degrees warm. It's also been cold, albeit cold by Florida standards, so we know to layer. Watching the forecast on the relic of a TV at the ball scratch inn, we know it's going to be cold. So we begrudgingly suited up. Each of layering up as we always do. All of us expecting to shed some, maybe even most of this gear by lunch. We even went with head gear. Reminding ourselves you can always take it off.

We're late as usual and most of the 300 riders have started the Tour. It was cold in the hotel parking lot as we leave and even colder when we arrive at the frost covered parking area at the San Felasco State Preserve. We are all bitching about the cold but we still have that promise of warmth as the day goes on. The high was nearly in the sixties yesterday so it's not going to be that cold, right? We're all dicking around with our bikes and gear. The ground crunches under our feet as each of us goes through our own pre-ride rituals. I just want to get going cause I know riding will get us warmer. Especially when you get in the singletrack. Normally the woods are colder. There's no ambient heat to draw from, like from buildings, asphalt, etc... But on cold days like this singletrack can be your friend because there is no wind.

It's been five years now so the details are a little fuzzy. But I can tell you I mostly remember being very, very cold. When we started out the temperature was somewhere around 40 degrees (maybe a little colder). It never got warmer. In fact, this was one of those odd ball days where it actually gets colder as the day goes on. Compounding the cold is the lack of sun. Cloudy skies are topped off with wind. By the first check/feed station we're all complaining. As we get closer to lunch everybody starts talking about the soup I hate. They're also day-dreaming out loud about going to the car and warming up for awhile before tackling the second half of the Tour. I myself am in pain. The weather is not that bad by northern standards but for under dressed Florida boys it is very cold. We've been in the elements for about three hours and my feet are hurt the worst.

The idea of going to the heater sounds good. The cold has me feeling like somebody slipped a ruffie in my water bottle. I'm hallucinating about warmth. I have just enough of my bearings to know that if I go to the truck I'll never come back out. I'd be done for the day - not something I want on my riding resume. There is still some lobbying as we approach lunch. There is always sun at lunch, where you can usually see people spread out resting and eating. There's none of this today as people are huddled together, sipping soup and sniffling their pink noses. I don't care about any of this. I'm in survivor mode. I know what I'm looking for but I can't find it anywhere. Finally I break down to scavenger mode. I pull out my multi-tool and cut out two big sections of a used trash bag. These are the heavy duty thick and black variety so I think they will be a good substitute. I go find a place in the grass. I wipe off excess waste from the crappy soup and discarded half eaten PBandJs. I cut the heavy plastic some more and then I'm faced with a choice. At this point it's like removing a piece of wood or glass from an artery. You know it going to be worse but you have to do it at some point to fix the problem.

I finally work up the nerve to do it. I remove my shoes and touch my feet. They hurt to touch because they have that numb, tingly feeling. I wrap each foot in the plastic. I then force these frozen plastic burritos back into the shoes. They are a force fit but I'd rather have an uncomfortable fit if it means they can be a little warmer.

We saddle back up and complete the ride. I can't remember much else, other than being miserable. I do remember the thawing process back in the car. How it hurt but felt good at the same time. I remember thinking I'm never doing this Tour again. The official high and low for that day were 42 and 26. It was cold and miserable. I'm hoping for just miserable next week.

Dragon

Felasco = Dark, Tales of a 50 mile bike ride

Nearly one year ago I was having a great time, save for some scratches on my neck. We were working on hour number two at the Tour de San Felasco. This is an annual bike ride pilgrimage to High Springs, Florida our crew has been making for nearly 10 years. We have a crew with varied skills and fitness levels so depending on who you are, the 50 mile off-road trek takes five to eight hours to complete. This year was no different in many ways, but it was different in many ways. I was ill-prepared as usual, but was having a great time. Leading up to the Tour I'd been commuting because my shitty Chevy Tahoe was broke down. This gave me a false sense of capability. At hour two it was all jokes for me. I was going slower than I wanted and even checking on other guys to make sure they were OK. With nearly 20 riders in our now trademark black and orange, there was ample space on the trail to move back in forth in the group. Some of our faster riders had checked out after the first check/feed station (about mile marker 12). That did not matter because I was having a blast.

My neck was already sore - not from riding though. It was from cloth burn where Micro ripped off the remaining bits of my shirt - part of my incredibly fat hulk costume. That was in the middle of a Target toy section. We were looking for green face paint to make my costume more realistic. Everybody had dressed up like an odd ball the day before for the drive down. As usual I had not prepared properly and had a pretty pitiful job of making a costume. It was, however, hilarious to look at our group dressed up like clowns at the Gainseville Ale House. Perhaps it was the beer, Micro's wrestling roots or a combination that provoked him to attack me in Target.

My plan was to eat and drink with minimal stopping. The plan was to NOT stop at lunch. That's the only thing I don't like about the Tour. For me, the soup is horrible. The only thing worse than the overly seasoned chicken noodle, is the indigestion in-a-bowl red colored concoction. For all I know it's chili or minestrone or veggie. Others rave about it. Whatever, I hate it.

All of these thoughts were going through my head. I did not know it then, but we ended up stopping at lunch. I had no way of knowing that I'd feel great a lunch. That I would spend time rushing Steve (aka Mac) and Swoell (aka Lyle) so we could keep the momentum up.The clock would be ticking for me - Steve and Lyle would have trouble too. This would be the best Tour yet, mostly because that added more single track. Unfortunately, that meant less double track. In the later miles double track becomes your friend because it travels faster than tight, twisty trails.

I had no way of knowing that in about four or so hours, I'd enter one of the darkest places ever. I'd learn that mile 40 and beyond are not good for me. I would later discover my suspicions were correct. That Tour organizers ran some of the sections backwards, and that the one big switch back climb would be later in the ride. For me, it would end up being excruciating. Leg burning induced hatred. No longer would I be able to joke. I'd be unable to complete a sentence without some form of the word f#ck. I ended up so deep in the hate cave that I would not come out for more than a month.

This year I'm slower, fatter and the last time I rode a bike was November 8th. Added this year are a few extra layers. My back is injured and I'm riding a 29er rigid single speed. Bring it on.

Seventeen Days and a Wake-Up

In seventeen days, we will be walking to the Waffle House in the dark. Wondering what to eat? How much do I eat? I wonder if I ate too much? Did I eat enough? Did I ride enough? Should I have ridden more? Base miles? More dirt than pavement? Single speed? How much beer did I drink? Why does my head hurt? Why is Kent wearing a ladies Eeyore night shirt from a gas station?

I have come to the realization..... screw it.

This one is about seeing friends, drinking beer with them, walking the line of being arrested for disorderly conduct, and laughing to the point where you forget about all the responsibilities and life events that kept you from riding since the last Felasco.

This one is going to be good.

Rusted Root and Last Chance Fancy

Few thought it was possible for the Chehaw Champion to fall this far from grace. The Dragon has become a joke that is no longer funny any more. We're at the uncomfortable stage where it's awkward to make jokes because they're ringing more than true. The Incredibly Fat Hulk is even fatter this year. A disgrace. Next year is my last year in Vet (30-39). Awareness of these bike geek milestones makes you start filling your iPod with anthems like Last Chance Fancy. Then you get all weirded out and have to turn it all manly - yea that's right I'm a rare breed - I SHOULD be a bad ass like the Last of the Mohicans bad asses. Get some bitches.

But alas I'll probably just do yard work and the closest thing I'll come to riding is coaching Pop Warner in BIKE brand shorts. The gauntlets have turned rusty and we're all out of motivational videos. I got nothing for you but results. Let's see where I am on Jan. 9, Mar. 21 and June 5.

Send Me On My Way.

What Was I Thinking...

I took it for a ride today after three months of waiting. It was eye opening. You never appreciate suspension until you don't have it. Got an hour in to workout the bugs and there weren't many. The only surgery was cutting the front brakeline. It was good overall. I have to learn how to ride again. The rigid bike took me back to the days of mountain biking with t-shirts and toe clips, and Oakley Razor Blades in neon colors were cool.

This will be my ride for Felasco. I have five weeks to get my shit together. I have done more training for the beer drinking than the ride itself lately. I only have two Fat Tire Ales left, so training will officially start after this blog. I threw the singlespeed rigid gauntlet down and am going to stick to it. I am shooting for 50 miles and will make the game day decision on the extra miles. What is it, 64? If I complete that, I might be so excited, that I punch BigWorm in his man-pleaser(mouth). I could go on, but I am officially unable to operate a motor vehicle. So I will end with a call out.

Come on fuckers! Felasco on a singlespeed, cause misery love company. In all seriousness, can't wait to see and ride with you douchebags.

Water Bottle Contest - Please Weigh In

Howdy. This is the last round of artwork we had from the last time we were working on water bottles. Please weigh in and let us know what you think and/or how it should be edited.

Dragon

Out of Pocket - My bad fellas

Sup fellas. I wanted to apologize for being out of touch. On top of some turbulent times in a variety of segments of my life, I had one of the worst back episodes ever. Major suffering. Can't lay down type pain. I begged for some pain killers, got em and they helped. Pretty much zonked me out though. Anyway, let me know if I rubbed you raw. BTW, bring on the innuendos.

Dragon.

PS - Happy Birthday Mackerel.

This weekend was like an out of order four course meal

As the title states, this weekend was like an out of order four course meal.

The entree' came first. It was a small, but great ride. I met Jim, Chris and Steve for a little east side mtb'ing. After they were tired from trail maintence, I went and threw down some washed up expert beatin' on 'em. Helping my unexplainable urge to ride hard was the fact that I was on a full suspension bike - with gears. Something I haven't done in awhile. Man, you can really go fast with a big ring.

Then, I cleansed my palate with a nugget of a challenge. The boys (Jim and Steve) talked me into doing the Turkey Trot (5k, not the 10k version). It wasn't hard to do. A few minutes later at the after ride lunch at Tijuana Flats, Zak was comitted too.

Next up was the cheese and crackers. On the drive home I reflected back to the last time I ran 3 miles. It was with Dan over a year ago. The time before that was with RC, probably two years ago. On both occasions I was incredibly miserable and way out of shape. My problem ankle was, well, a problem. I started to think I had made a bad decision to do this run. So, off to test the waters I go. I put in about 25 minutes of running (at least three miles I hope). No real significant pain; probably due to the Mona Vie Active that I drink :)

I cleanse my palate again. This time, between courses, I opt for the hunching over the kitchen counter while trying to warm a bottle of milk and not pass out from oxygen debt maneuver. Success.

Then came the appetizer. Well it was like an entree' but there was not enough food to be considered an entree', so it was an appetizer. The wife and I had another date night. After a trip to Target, we headed to Tapas for some overpriced, ill portioned food. I have to admit, though, the food and ambiance was great. Because we got to Tapas so early, we had the whole place to ourselves. No one else. I can't remember what we had, but it came on large rectangular plates and the water was served in tall skinny glasses. Its a pretty cool place. Kinda like Mozaics and that other place I used to hate on Monroe Street. Not much bang for the buck, but definitely good food, good times.

The salad came in the form of reading through the ride emails for Sunday plans. I laughed out loud (thats LOL to some of you) when I saw Dariens emails. Saturday night he was this tough, single, care free cyclist ready to go ride. The only thing standing in his way of a four hour cross ride was getting the address for where the ride was starting. Then, come Sunday morning, he is daddy pee pee poo poo pants and not only is he not going to be riding that day - he probably won't even step outside of his own house.

Finally, dessert. We didn't get to select it, as in "by choice", but boy was it good. The 'ole lady and I were on a walk with the dogs and the baby. We were heading back from an ABC loop, walking by Bagel Bagel when we saw Steve ride by on his road bike. As he looped around to come greet us, he had the not so brilliant idea of trying to be cool. He came, full bore, rear wheel locked up slinging it out powerslide right up to our feet - on his road bike. For a second, maybe even two, Cortney and I both thought that he looked cool as ice. Now, that is someone with some skill. Some may try that on a MTB in the dirt, but rarely does anyone have the nuts to try to pull that on pavement on a road bike. Now I know why. Boom, boom, pow. Steve don't got no style.... Not only did he crash, AND flat, but he also shredded his rear tubular. The good news is that we had plenty of time to catch up with Steve on the long walk home.

ramblings about getting older with a little about bikes

Another birthday in the books. This blog's title pays homage to my years - 38. Friday was actually my birthday, but it was a pretty awful day. The only saving grace is it was bracketed by time with my wife and kids. Cards and hugs and kisses in the morning, then on to a small present and impromptu visit to a high school football game in the evening (Casey and Mia had a blast). I had a good time as well and it was funny to check out a real life Friday Night Lights.

Saturday was not much better because I had to work. Mia begged to go on the morning's first run so that was nice. On to work while the rest of my family spent time with extend family in town for Justin's wedding. On to my cousin-in-law's wedding at Goodwood. Very nice affair. It's still a small world and I bumped in to my man Bob with AB. He opened the door to talk about 180 Energy so obliged. I stepped through it and next year's sponsorship looks promising. Not a done deal but it looks good. I asked one of my other cousin-in-laws - Cord - if he'd been riding any (we sold him a Caloi back in the day). He played the question down but said he brought his bike. The beer had been flowing so I'm like ",dude we got to ride in the morning. I'm talking early!" Much to my horror he said yes.

So we're rolling by 7:15 at Tom Brown on Sunday morning. No BS, I feel great. I ask him want he wants to do and mentions he's heard of Cadillac. So I alter our course and lead him through part of Tom Brown, Cadillac, Piney Z and then the lollipop loop. We hit all the cool sections and loved every minute. Fitness level wise everything felt great. The only time I ever felt dead legged was climbing up the sissy route from the dike. We get back a little early and decide to hit some more singletrack at Tom Brown. It was one of the best rides I've been on in a very long time. Back at home I burn the next 8 hours renovating the kitchen.

Woke up yesterday and it was back to the grind. I was dead tired. Beat. I was starting to get grumpy. Then I did some thinking. What I've found is we all can fall in to the trap of focusing on the negative. That is what I was trying to do. In what was an otherwise aggravating set of circumstance and a not-so-great birthday weekend - there were some pockets of positive times, and some truly great times. So that's the focus now - positive.

Dragon

The Lost Boys

Wow, what a fun weekend of mountain biking. Saturday had me, Big Worm, Wrecking Ball and Spanish Mackerel loading up the truck and heading to middle Georgia for some mountain biking fun.

First stop was the Boy Scout camp (Camp Thunder) near Thomaston. With well over 2,000 feet of climbing per lap, past trips on this trail have turned out to be more hiking than biking, but this time it seemed to be the opposite. It’s amazing what you can do when you settle down and just find a grove. Big Worm decided to do things the hard way. About 2 miles in, and during the second climb, he breaks a rear derailleur. So now he’s down to about 3 gears. This is not the place to limit your gear choices. Riding behind the big man you would never have known he had a problem. He rode all the climbs the rest of us made and cleaned some that we couldn’t. The Mackerel gave his best impression of a mountain goat while running his mouth during the climbs. Me and WB were devising a plan to toss him over a cliff while at the same time breathing through our eyelids.

After the ride we head for Macon and try to find the big man a derailleur from one of the bike shops. After several calls it was not looking good as none had any level of Sram for purchase. As luck would have it, one of the wrenches offered to sale his XO off of his personal bike…..SOLD. So we get to the shop at closing time and the deal was done. Oh, and it must be said that Big Worm was “recognized” in the shop as a GSC participant. I made sure they realized that he was not only a participant but the GSC Clydesdale champion.

After checking into the Hotel, getting cleaned up, and drinking a few beers, we head out for some Mexican food. Good stuff, and hey since we are not racing the next day (thank God) why not hit Baskin Robbins for some ice cream. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Back at the hotel there was mention of a ten o’clock run to Five Guys Burgers but, thankfully, cooler heads prevailed.

Sunday we get up early and hit the free hotel breakfast before loading up the truck. Before heading to Dausset we hit Dunkin Donuts for some iced coffee and donuts (did I mention not a race weekend…THANK GOD). Off to Dausset we go. Unlike the day before, Sunday was gorgeous (sunny and cooler). The trails were a mess due to all of the rain days before. Very slick, and very muddy which made things interesting. Not even half way through the ride Big Worm, you guessed it, breaks another part. This time his saddle rails have snapped. He gives it a go for a while but decides he needs to head back to the truck. He hands SM the map, gives a few instructions and we part ways. Me, WB, and SM hit the “huff and puff” section of Dausset and struggle with the mud and water. WB was about to blow a gasket (bonked) and I’m having some “intestinal” issues (which I’m sure had nothing to do with the diet I enjoyed while on the trip). Overall another very fun ride.

Load up the truck, stop by JB’s BBQ, then head to the house. I can’t wait for the next guy’s weekend (RACING NOT INCLUDED).

Rotten Meat May Change My Life

Wow. I've never been smelly but recent events had me sniff-checking everything. It's no secret the Tahoe is a wreck. I'm OCD but have to combat that with being a complete slob. If I keep it clean then I HAVE to keep it clean. So I let it be a complete mess. That all may have to change. I did a prelim clean the other day throwing away the big chunks and putting the rest in piles. There's the front seat, back floorboard and cargo area. I'm feeling pretty good about myself - Rome wasn't built in a day right? Right about the time Silk was looking for his vest I noticed a little funk. Could it be the socks, shoes or helmet from Sunday? How about the krispy kreme box from Friday? Or maybe the near empty chocolate milk containers? Milk can get get funky. Forget it - let's wait a day or two and see (or smell) what happens. Unfortunately this morning set off an olfactory alarm of gagging proportions. On par with a triple-gagger diaper changing. Wife and kids were waving goodbye as I opened the car door so I had to choke down some puke, pull out of the driveway and roll down the windows as I left neighborhood. Gasping for air I cussed it aggravation. Aggravated because I'm frustrated with how nasty I am. Aggravated because something is in the Tahoe and I've got to find it. So I put the sniffer to work. Ran through the usual suspects. Mild funk but nothing a stick-up couldn't handle. Check under the front seats. Check the cargo area. Nothing. On to the back seats. Driver side - nothing. Passenger side door opens - dry heave. Damn, that's where the Publix pork roast went. I was all pissed at the bag boy for shorting me and it was MY fault. I had clearly shoved the shopping bag under the back seat when loading my groceries because there was nowhere else to put it. More cussing because I now know I am a piece of crap. So happy Friday to me. I am now committed to re-inventing myself, again. I'll embrace the OCD and clean it up. Washing and checking here I come. I'll try to snap some pictures of the Tahoe detox.

Dragon

Weekend Recap

Got in some miles this weekend. I met up with the crew both days for some fun riding. I jumped in on both rides, so I didn't get as many miles as they did. I guess I probably got in around 50 miles between the two days, based on them claiming 65 miles. I rode the Lynskey both days and had a blast with it. It needs some work now (more on that later) so it may sit on a hook for awhile until I get a chance to get to it.

Saturday had us riding east. Its been awhile since I have been on a group ride, so it was a surprise to see how mean everyone was to each other. They have either gotten more t0-the-bone with their insults, or I have gotten weak. We headed out with a pretty steady pace to do TB, Cadillac, the bucket loop and a whole lot of grass field riding. Tyler stepped up and took charge of leading the ride; which was awesome. However, we logged in a fair amount of miles on what felt like riding on a wet mattress; uphill; with a headwind; brakes dragging, etc etc. On the way back, we really lifted the pace for awhile on upper Cadillac. That was fun to see how the 29er felt at speed. When we got to Piney Z park, we found a camelbak that appeared to have fallen off of someones trunk as it was just sitting in the parking lot unattended. We went to take a look to see if we could find some identifying objects and we stumbled upon a newish looking Blackberry. Great! Now we definitely have the obligation of trying to find the rightful owner. I texted the two most recent contacts in her message list. She (the Blackberry owner) had been staying in close contact with "Kate" and "Nathan" since midnight and had been recently texting Kate. I let them know that we found the phone but we never heard back from them. While we were waiting on a return text, Juancho and the Big Ring Circus showed up for a couple jokes. They hurried along as they HATE to be seen on the trail with, or even near, us. I think its just bad for their rep. Before we left, Chris made the executive decision to call "mommie" and let her know that we had found her daughters bag and phone and that we were leaving it at the bathroom at PZ park. The gang had mixed emotions about that being a good idea, but we let it slide. Sure would like to know how that all panned out. Anyway, we road on, shared a few more words with the BRC and started to go our separate ways. I heard it was another TT back to Joes.

Sunday was north. I met the boys on the powerline and we headed out for some Red Bug, Phipps, Secret ST, Overstreet. We had the dragon with us this time and we were relentless on dragging him around for his Felasco prep. There were a couple of "sprints" on the otherwise tame ride. Some new routes were laid out by BW. On the way back from the lake, through a particularly technical section of flat dirt road, I grabbed Chris' handlebar just in time for him to tackle me. Seriously, we went down faster than you could say "big man falling". Not even close to the first time I have crashed with Chris, and probably not the last. We got back rolling quickly after some laughs of some of the witnesses and headed for Secret ST, Everything seemed fine, but I noticed later that my front rotor was very warped. (I did have to straighten my bars and brake levers after the crash) After getting home I realized my brakes were really dragging and it was hard to push the bike. Its possible that the rear wheel slipped in the dropouts. I haven't had a chance to look at it yet though. I know I have to work on the fork too, so it may sit idle for awhile.

I summary, I got 50 miles in this weekend, which makes a total of about 60 for the past six weeks. I had a blast riding with the gang and am super motivated to get back out again.

Now I get it!

Now I see that all the breeders are full of it. I was always curious if it really was true. The breeders will tell you that having a baby is a must-do and you will never be able to find as much joy as a baby. Maybe. Maybe not. I think that what is more likely is that they want to see you go down in a huge ball of flames. That will bring them joy. Unfortunately for me, most of my crew already has kids and I have zero victims-to-be on the back burner. Luckily, I have brought joy into my friends lives by wallering in the grips of misery for the past six weeks; but they are are liars and I hate them all for the truths they have sheltered. A quick run down of some of the crew will show that I don't have anyone to bring me joy in the way others have had with me. I don't have anyone to point and laugh at (except for Darien, but thats too close to my own misery. that will most likely be a simultaneous laugh and cry). Some of the guys are too young, some are too old, and only two are possible candidates. So, be sure not to let Steve or Tyler in on any knowledge of any of the misery of fatherhood. In the meantime I will have to decide whether to take the high road, or be deceitful / unscrupulous / unconscionable and join the ranks of the lying majority.
As far as bikes go, here we go. I have my wheels finally and the Lynskey is getting built today. I plan to meet the guys for Thursday lunch. I plan to watch a one time showing of a cycling "movie" tonight with the chain gang. So, yeh, I am on a come back and actually plan to get on a bicycle one day real soon.

Congrats Bike Chain

Way to go Bike Chain!

From the racers to the cheerleading section, the chain gang was in full effect this weekend. It definitely makes the racing much more fun to have the whole family out there in attendance.

Gotta give all the racers due credit; each rider brought something to the table. Tim, jeeeesh, what a breakthrough performance. Expert podium, not much more to say, that was awesome. Ric, prolly not what he would have liked under normal circumstances. However, to have been sick (in the lungs too), make a game day decision to race, and not have been run off from the soflo bullies - that was very impressive to pull off a 3rd place with mad consistent lap times. Its crazy to think that 3rd place in expert is a dissappointing finish for you. Zak finished a race!!! And got 3rd place in expert lite (singlespeed). He looked solid on the first two laps, leading some of it, until a couple crashes and a wall got in his way. Way to gut it out to 3rd. David won in sport class and made it look easy with expert lap times (very consistent too). Tyler did his first race, and won!! On a fully rigid bike by the way. Terry trained so much in the past three weeks that he caught and passed Steve (who beat him at the last race). Maybe Terry gets the most improved medal?? And then Steve, who showed up at like 10 or 10:30 wasn't even going to race. He finally got talked in to racing (luckily, he just so happened to have his bike and all necessary race gear :)) and raced with style - enjoying a quesadilla from Tijuana Flats while coming through for his last lap. I'm not sure how Colter and Jason did, but I know Colter was never going to race again at his last race; but he did. And jason seemed to be pretty happy with his race and more happy that it was over....

You guys be sure to go by Tijuana Flats and let them know how good the food was and that we all appreciate their support.

If the phone doesn't ring, its me not calling

Well, FSC #3 at our local trail is coming up this weekend and I won't be racing. For those of you who have raised children before will understand and my excuse can be shortened to just a few words (I have a 5 week old girl). For those of who have never had the pleasure, I don't think you will ever understand the level of pain until you do get the chance to care for a newborn baby. It is not as simple as saying that you get robbed of sleep. It is day in and day out of pure sleep deprived misery. You get to sleep at intervals of 1-2hours at a time with 1-2 hours awake time between. If you are like Darien, no problem, you just go back to sleep. If you are like me, that basically means you don't ever get back to sleep after your first 1-2 hour "nap". Have you ever had a couple of bad nights of sleep in a row?? Yeh, try 40 days in a row so far. So, to say I feel like crap is an understatement. I tried to do round #2 and realized that was a mistake. And, that was three weeks ago, I am way worse off now. In the past 5 weeks, I should have gotten in around 50 hours of riding with structure, to include approximately 30 rides, 10 runs, 20 days in the gym. Hmmm, not quite. I've gotten in three bike rides to total about 2.5 hours, 2 runs that equal about a mile if added together, and 100 pushups (50 on two different days). So anyway, I am not racing. Not because I have a problem not winning, but because my body and my schedule will not allow for recovery if I were to attempt to race.

But enough about me. It is beginning to sound like everyone is backing out?? We drive out of town all the time to race and now we can't even race out of our own back door? Ric, sick. Jim, sick. Ken, Sick. Terry, not sure but he seems down that everyone else is backing out. Tyler is doing first timer and going full rigid to give his competitors a fighting chance. Chris? He was motivated to help provide on-trail protection for Ric in case those clowns tried to jump him. David will race, but he will be all decked out in his endurancefactor gear. Steve and Tim???? Darien, you better race now while you can. Zak HAS to race cause he has a new bike to show off. Kent. ( I figure that was enough said about that). Anyone else gonna race? Come on we gotta represent. It all about flying your colors. What gang are you with?

A man’s got to know his limitations!

A good size group of Bikechain’s posse made the trip to Fernandina Beach this past weekend for the second installment of the Florida State Championship MTB Series. Me, Big Worm, Wrecking Ball and Spanish Mackerel loaded up the truck on Saturday and headed over. Derwood with his liter, Red Dragon with the Ball and Chain, and Iceberg with his parental/sibling units also made the drive over Saturday. Marko and Silk got up before the chickens on Sunday morning and headed over in time to make the race.

Saturday’s pre-ride was uneventful. This course is fun to ride. Nothing real technical, but fast and flowy. You can lose your head on this course if you’re not careful (literally). There are quite a few low hanging limbs waiting to take your head off if you are not paying attention. Not a big deal on pre-ride but be careful on race day when oxygen deficit is maxed out. Load the truck back up, head to the hotel, get cleaned up then go find grub. Hmmm, ate at a really good Italian restaurant there last year so we hit it again. Good food, good times. Argue about what each of us owe, stress about it a little more until Big Worm starts to explode then head back to the hotel for some R&R. Watch a little Police Women of Broward County to look for lil Ronnie (Big Worm says he wears skirts and rides like a girl so he might be featured on the show). Get ready for sleep before a tap on the door. Bikechain’s CEO decides to make a late night sales call pimping the new Bike Chain gear. Swag and monies exchange hands and finally get rid of CEO. Lights out.

Six thirty came early. Big Worm did his usual jump right out of bed, head for the door and hit breakfast. The big man worries that he will not get his 5 waffles if he is not first to breakfast. Terry is on the big man’s heels. Me and Mackerel take a while to get motivated enough to get up. I am in my typical race day panic mode questioning why in the hell I put myself through the stress and aggravation that comes with racing. I can’t bring myself to eat much on race day due to nerves, but manage to swallow a bagel and banana. Off we go.

Yellow wave goes first. I’m in my second ever Sport race and about to soil myself on the starting line. Horrible start. I KNOW everyone is faster than me so I go into the woods near dead last. Crashed 2.5 times in the first lap. Needless to say, this is not going well. Get behind a few guys not going very fast and just sit there knowing I should get around. About get head taken off while trying to let Mr. Amazing Pro Dude (Bob) around. Three laps and cross the finish line in 20th place (out of 27 riders). Did I give it all I had NO, was I disappointed YES. If I can’t get these pre-race panic attacks in order then my racing days may be numbered. I’m pretty good at handing out water bottles. Maybe there’s a place for me as the MTB version of a domestique.

Congrats to Iceberg (1st); Big Worm (3rd) and Silk (4th) on their podium finishes. Great job to the Red Dragon and Bikechain for being the round sponsor . Tom Brown in two weeks. Trying to get my wife to get us out of town that weekend but no luck as of yet. Damn I may have to enter ANOTHER race. Do I feel lucky, well do I, punk.

Sound the Charge!!

By my count, we've got 9 Chain Gangers rolling to Fernandina, Saturday, for the 2nd round of the Florida State Championship Series. I know of at least 2 more showing up Sunday morning.

Personally, I've been tired from the race travel, but a couple of months off does wonders for, or to, the psyche. This race was on my "schedule, so I could race my 29er at least once, and with my sketchy ankle, not too many courses are agreeable. This one is flat, fast, and not too rough, so here goes.

Next thing I know, BikeChain is a round sponsor. Let's hear it for K-Dub's vision, or madness! Either way, you gotta back your brother's play. Chain Gangers en masse. They're coming out of the woodwork for this one. Human Wrecking Ball is on his 15th racer reincarnation. We can rebuild him. He will will be stronger. He will be faster. He may blow sky high, but the tales afterward will be enthusiastic and entertaining! Longshanks will be expanding his views from the inside of the expert torture chamber. Silk will be debuting his latest Frankenbike. Spanish Mackerel heard the trumpets calling from his place in the clouds, and will drift earthward for a weekend with the boys. Clearly, Big Jim Slade has not had enough to fret about since the GA Series, so he's jumped on board. Even New Baby Daddy, Marcus, is looking to participate in the race foolishness. It's probably a lot easier than the new baby madness that's been his reality, lately. Derwood has started threatening us with his RV racermobile. If we go over in that rig...God help us! No, really! I mean God help us. I'd like to actually arrive, and a little divine influence could go a long way.

If you find yourself along the North Florida Atlantic Coast this weekend, and there are a bunch of hyped up, lycra clad, mountain bike kooks buzzing the beach line, look around for the BikeChain tent. Stop by and say hello, but beware, if you get a little madness on you, we are not responsible.

Fine Print: BikeChain madness may stain. You may be able to get it out with seltzer water, but I wouldn't know because I don't believe in froo froo stuff like seltzer water. You may find you like the stain, and that's ok. It's not like it's some sort of social stigma. Well, actually it is, but we kind of like social stigmas around here, so embrace it. If the stain is left too long, you may find yourself suffering side effects. Side effects may include: leg shaving, lycra wearing, mud splashing, bike part cravings, possible divorce due to inordinate amounts of riding time on weekends when you should be mowing the grass, planning your vacations around the 50 mile race you read about in Dahlonega, and having entirely too much fun with a bunch of two wheeled misfits who enjoy the same BikeChain, stain driven, side effects. Not so bad, huh? You may have noticed that anal leakage was nowhere in that list. Now you're gettin' it!

Everybody gotta have a dream

So I've been in my own personal Siberia. I'm no different than any other fool out there. By all accounts I have a perfect life. An American life - A job, wife, kids, two dogs and BBQ on the weekends. I look at the kids homework, do odd jobs around the house and sling my own version of TPS reports at work. Let's just say that I'm invested in the family. That is great but I got this devil on my shoulder driving me to be more, whispering pipe-dreams of stand up comedy fame, real estate tycoon status and bicycle parts liquidator warehouse Internet mogul thingie. I feel guilty for wanting more. I don't need more things. But I do need more achievement. I can't shut the brain down. Meanwhile I'm either losing it or really inspired by a morality play that shouldn't inspire - but it does. Terrance Howard's DJay character has caught my attention with his proclamational song "It ain't over me." The movie is Hustle and Flow from 2005. It's a tough watch because the guy is a scum bag pimp and drug dealer, but yet you can't help from being drawn to the character. I'm guessing I like it because DJay climbs from one of the worst places you can imagine to implied success. I think I'll ride my bike today.

Red Dragon

From the Weekend

Great ride on Sunday. Unfortuantely the numbers twindled as the ride went on. A little weird that out of 5 guys I'm the only one with hair on his legs.

The End

Ok, so let’s rap this thing up. On Saturday Me, Big Worm, Ice Berg, and Graham Cracker piled in the truck and made the long drive to Helen for the last of the Georgia State Championship series. Big Worm and I had participated in most of the series races with Ice Berg and Cracker just tagging along. Longshanks and his wife headed up on Thursday to make a long weekend of it.

I was so stoked that this was the last race in the series and I can promise you it will be the last series I commit to.

The trip up was fairly uneventful. We made the usual stop at the sausage place so Worm could get his fix. We were pretty happy once we finally made it into Helen, only to find out that place stays crowed with tourists all year long. It took us 30 minutes to get through town before we could make our way to Unicoi for our pre-ride.

The trails at Unicoi are awesome. Nothing real technical and the trails were in great shape. Plenty of climbing but all were doable. The descents were fun (even though I loved my brakes on most of them – I’ve got to work on this weakness). Berg and Cracker did their thing while the Worm and I decided a slower pace would be more appropriate for a pre-ride.

When we get back to the truck I see foot doc at the parking lot. Foot doc was only 2 points behind me in the series points (me in second and him in third). He notifies me that he will not be racing the next day due to an injury he sustained in the Ellijay race. Sucks for him, but my race just got easier. The fourth place guy was 4 points back so he should not be a problem.

A walk in the oven (it was hot), some mediocre food (but good beer) and we are back at the hotel for an early night of it. Sunday morning comes and we are off to Unicoi. We find a good park, set up the tent and Worm and I get ready for the early wave start. Thank God for this. It was brutally hot and we knew the second wave guys would be suffering.

I’m not quite as terrified as I usually am before a race but the butterflies were still there. Worm is off and I am awaiting my start. Small group this race as only 9 guys show up. We’re off and I am second going into the woods behind “evil bastard.” Of course the race starts going uphill and then a sharp switchback. EB hits the deck while trying to negotiate the switchback. I get around and am leading the race. Roadie dude is on my wheel and stays there for a while before he decides to get around. He’s gone. By that time EB finds my wheel. He stays there for most of the .lap. We start discussing politics and the state of the current health care system before he realizes I can’t climb worth a damn so he gets around and he’s gone. I keep a steady pace and start picking guys off from the other groups. I’m starting to think that a third place finish would be respectful and this way I am assured of my number 2 series placing. Every now and then I can spot roadie dude in front of me but never really could bridge the gap. I’m tired of climbing and my heart rate is way up. I’m ready to be done. I pop out of the woods, think “thank God” and start to make the 75-100 trek to the finish line. I look back to see who’s behind me and thought I saw a guy in my class. I amp it up then look back again. The guys not coming (he ended up not being in my class). I look up and notice roadie dude right there. The kick in the balls for this race is that the last 30 fee or so is straight up. I kid you not that sport guys were walking up this thing. Well luckily for me roadie guy did not know I was coming until it was too late. I was in the perfect gear and he was not. I stomped it out, caught him, and beat him to the line by about a foot or two. I was stoked to have stolen second place.

Big Worm finished up and got his first place finish. Who cares that he was the only guy racing in his class.

Graham Cracker destroyed his field. This kid flew. I know because he flew by me during my race. What’s amazing is that he hit something that stung him on the mouth about 10 minutes into his race. His mouth swelled up like a life raft.

Berg being the amazing racer that he is (if you don’t believe me just ask him) destroyed his field as well.

Longshanks in his first expert race suffered. Three laps and a hot day made the conditions tough. It still looks like he had a respectful finish. I sure wish I had your toughness LS.

We hit the series ending awards ceremony where BW and I collect our plaque and swag, jump in the truck and head back home. I’m in the door about midnight, announce to the wife that amazing his home, show off the swag and hit the bed.

Georgia series in the books.

Hitting the Wall

Me and Longshanks made the long drive to Ellijay over the weekend for the 7th installment of the Georgia State MTB Championship Series. The Event was held at “Falling Waters” which is a planned gated community on 2,000 acres. The place was beautiful with a lodge, giant lake and great views of the mountains in the distance. We pull in around 2:00 on Saturday for our pre-ride. The temperature was a cool 77 degrees (are you kidding me, it’s July).

We gear up and hit the course. The start takes you 1.5 miles up a paved road. Two minutes into the ride, I’m in my small chainring and small cog and my heart rate is at 90% max. This road was steep and painful. This is a pre-ride and I’m working too hard. Fifteen minutes later we made it to the top of the climb and finally hit some doubletrack. You get a chance to recover a little before hitting some little false flats. About the time you have recovered from the road climb they give you a nice little doublletrack climb. LS powers up but again I am in small/small and just about hitting max heart rate. I make it to the top, stop, and try to get my breath. Damn that little hill hurt. Finally, some downhill that you can flow. Then, suddenly, I see 3 arrows all pointing down (the sign of danger ahead). What came next was the scariest downhill I have ever ridden. This thing had washouts, ruts a few rocks and headed straight down. You dared not let go of the breaks. The few times I did let go I could not believe how fast the speed built up. LS was just ahead of me and about half way down this 2 mile or so decent when he hit the ground. I swerve as not to run over his skull. We stop and wonder what the weird smell is. We soon realize that our brakes are smoking. We get back on the bikes and finish the decent. The rest of the ride is easy. Some hiking trails and then pop out into a field that has some small climbs. 5.5 miles and 44 minutes later and were done with the pre-ride.

I knew Sunday would be tough. I am no climber and am at least 10 pounds heavier than I should be. My legs felt heavy from the previous days efforts and I’m dreading doing the road climb (twice). LS has the early race and takes off. He comes through both laps in 3rd place. The first two guys (sandbaggers) have left the rest of the field behind. LS finishes in third but he is a little disappointed in his race.

I have the second wave so I’m off around 11:40. Eleven guys in my class and we are headed up the road climb. I feel like everyone in my class has passed me going up. I catch and pass most before the singletrack. I believe I was in the woods in 4th place. Unfortunately I have a mechanical and have to get off the bike to fix it when two guys pass me. I jump back on and catch those two. I get to the doubletrack climb and end up walking half of it. Bomb the downhill and get ready for the next lap. At the start of number 2 I knew I was in 3rd place. NB checked out early but I had my eye on the 2nd place guy. He stayed in my sight all of the lap but I could never get right up on him to get a chance to sprint it out at the end. I finish 3rd about 30 second behind 2nd place guy.

Considering how I felt going up the climbs, I guess I should feel good about the 3rd place finish, but truly I do not feel that I am riding very good lately. Most of my issues appear to be more mental than physical. One more race to go in the series which is Helen in 3 weeks. I’m holding onto 2nd place overall with the 3rd place guy on my heels only 2 points behind. I’ll need to pay close attention to him in Helen.

So what did the two older guys learn while traveling alone to a MTB race? Pinot Noir goes best with cheese and crackers when served at room temperature.

GSC Race report

Well, I finally got ON the podium in expert. Not in the grass next to it, but ON it. 2nd place behind A.J., I'll take that. Some haters may argue that there was a low turnout, but I still beat out alot of fast guys in my class, and others as well. When I compare my past finishes and times to this past race, it is clear that I have made improvements over the rest of the feild. Not sure what it was; I mean I am really confused by it. It can only be one of two things: Mona Vie, or I am well rested. Maybe it is a combo of all the hard work I put in earlier in the season, with alot of rest lately. (by rest, I mean 3 hard 1.25 hour rides a week, with an occasional group ride thrown in and 3-5 gym visits per week) I have had no time to ride on most recent weekends. Hmmm, maybe everyone is just getting slower. Whatever, I gots my medal and I made all the boys stand around and wait for me to collect my paycheck baby!

So the trip itself was cool. That area of GA has this crazy lake that looks like a morph of a lake and a river. Lake Oconee I think. There seemed to be more boats in the water than people. It was insane. All the while during our pre-ride, we kept hearing the laughs and screams from nearby boats. The smell and sound of the outboards finally broke us down and we all decided to sell our bikes and get some boats. Yes, SOME. The plan is for BW to get a ski boat, bikediet gets the pontoon boat and BJS gets a cabin boat. The Mack already has a center console boat. We are going to do our best to not be complete losers anymore. So, if this all pans out I will need a new handle for blogging and bikechain.com won't really make sense in the boat world. boatnutrition just doesn't sound right. But, bikechain.com could turn into boatmotor.com - its got legs...

As far as the rest of the racing crew: BW got first place in Clydes and will most likely be the GSC series champion. He mainly just has to show up at the last race and collect his riches. BJS was a little less than pleased with his performance (still in the wood) and may be looking at 2nd overall in the GSC series. I think everyone needs to quit picking on BJS cause his mental game is lowing him down. So the next time you feel like cracking a joke, just praise him instead - will work wonders. The Mack raced to a thrid place finish, HOWEVER, due to a butterfly distraction 100 yards from the finish line, two guys got around him and pushed him back to fifth. Still, a very good finish considering his sickness for the previous week.

All in all, another good trip with the boys. Good food, good times.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Tomorrow marks the second anniversary of the now infamous "lips on my belly" comment. Here's how the story goes.... So we are at cuz's little sister's b-day party. This is the fist time London and myself had been on a date in awhile. It was also the first time we honestly realized we were getting to be a part of the older crowd. London and I got there first which in recent years in itself has become an anomaly. We go to the bar and I start working on my favorite drink. London looks great because we've dressed in our best, hippest, going out clothes. We're feeling right. Then the pretty people show up. An assortment of Abecrombie and Fitch models, all pre-med, show up like they've just spilled out of a limo and walked the red carpet. We fight through the imaginary paparazzi to our hibachi table. London and I sit on the edge. All is going well and I'm behaving for the most part. Introductions, kikoman flipping an egg in his hat, a few drinks and everybody is feeling right. By the time dude is making an onion volcano, everybody is loose and we are starting to fit in, sort of. Then the conversation shifts to everybody going out. I think the birthday girl wants to dance. I puff my chest out proclaiming I can dance. Birthday girl laughs. Inner-redneck man appears and does his best E.F. Hutton. The table talk and laughter came to a screeching halt as I say "shit I can dance, I can do all the dances. I'll jump up on this table and dance. I'll do it with lips on my belly." They all looked perplexed. Mark looked at me like he was mortified, like he was actually embarrassed. Like he was saying WTF and meant it. I wanted to explain but thought better of it as London whispered something about being embarrassed. A few seconds later, that felt like forever, Mark finally broke the deafening silence by erupting with laughter. Not because what I said was funny, but because all of their friends found out I was freak in less than a dinner.

Cheers,

I have no self control

So I'll admit it. I don't know how to suffer anymore. I've made some good choices along the way. But then we were sort of out of food. No big deal, make my self a sandwich. Get to work, put it it the fridge. Forget that it's there, OR maybe I make myself forget it's there because I don't want anther crappy turkey sandwich. I roll to Publix because I love it there. As I make my way to the salad cooler, I'm mesmerized by the rhythmic sound of spatulas on the grille top. I snap my head to see dude working up a Philly. Damn, in one short sigh I knew I'd be cheating. I wanted it even more because dude was taking forever after I ordered mine. I was trying to act all cool looking for a place to stand and ended up pacing back and forth. Finally it's wrapped and I'm off. Ate half of it in the parking lot. Ate a quarter of it driving back to work. Feeling pretty crappy now, but not bad enough to throw away this Hersey bar.

Loser

Holla back ya'll!

Feeling a little tired? Drink a 180. Anybody out there thirsty? As we near the mid way point of the year, it's time we put together a report for our sponsors, small and large. I need to get some images for the report/video. I'll be circulating a few thumb drives to get video and picture files from all you BC crewers. Unless you can burn them to a disk. Anyway, let me know if you can help me out...

Dragon

slice like a ninja, cut like a razor blade

In a last ditch effort to rebuild myself I have exiled to Siberia. I'm more like a lurker until July 4. I've realized I've got to do what I do to make myself happy. There's a dichotomy here. I am happy eating whatachickin's with mustard, onions and jalapenos. I'm happy pounding Cokes and Extreme Sour Patch Kids. But... I'm not happy with the subsequent Incredibly Fat Hulk body. I'm healthy but I'm not healthy. For the first time in a long time this is more about the end result than it is about the gauntlet. Besides Ric and Mark are in the stratosphere, Jim and Tim are not too far behind, Neck is caterwauling, Ken has old school hand, Five-O rides like 200 miles a week, Steve likes waxing that ass (same with the rest of the BC crew like Zak, Berg, Micro, Lt. Dan and so on...) and the Worm, well the Worm will never race again after the Georgia series . No longer does Clark Kent have an evil nemesis. No longer does the Red Dragon need to make claims of this and that. This is me alone on a frozen tundra working it out. No promises but I hope to come back healthier.

K Dub

Less talking, more doing

BUMP Report

I was hoping that one of our more “colorful” characters would give you a race report. I guess you’ll have to settle for my poorly written chain of events.

Another BUMP and Grind is in the books. This was my third installment. Last year’s BUMP was my first race back in about 9 years (I was on hiatus). Couldn’t have gone much better at that time. This year was a much different story as I “BUMPed” up to Sport class.

Bikechain/bikeposse brought a large contingent to Pelham (a/k/a Birmingham). Big Worm; Spanish Mackerel; Red Dragon; Longshanks; Derwood; Silk; Mingo, including Mingo Jr.; and 007 all made the trip.

My truck consisted of BW; SM; and RD. AC/DC may have may have sang it but I got to live it (highway to hell). RD and SM in the back seat of a vehicle must be what it’s like to have two misbehaved 7 year old children. My head is still ringing from all the goings on. Also, the truck still has a strange odor about it. May take some time to air out.

The true BUMP experience began when my truck pulled into the parking lot to see 007 in a cute little skirt. You see 007 lost a bet at last year’s BUMP and was settling up. You got to give the guy his props. I’m pretty sure I would have reneged on that bet. So we gear up and head out for the preride. Nothing like a little 16 mile ride to get the legs feeling fresh for a race the next morning (joke).

Next stop, bike shop so BW can hunt for a XXXXXLLLL size jersey he eyed on the trail earlier in the day. No such luck as apparently only scrawny ass people buy from that bike shop (discrimination). Hotel for a quick shower; Olive Garden for a good meal, then back to the hotel for very little sleep. Who here knew RD could make trumpet sounds from his ass at 4:00 in the morning (me either…until now).

Sunday rolls around and I am a mess. This is not unusual for me on race day, but this day topped them all. When we lined up it took all I had to hold the bike upright. It was not looking good for me. In the woods almost dead last. Took a while for me to settle down and get in a good rhythm. Unfortunately, I found myself content in my placing which explains my poor 15th place finish. Oh well, hopefully another lesson learned.

Silk did his normal thing, won…Tim did his thing…podium…Berg had a very respectable 5th place…Mingo appeared to have rode well. The rest of the guys can comment on their own race.

That’s it for now. Oh, except for BW and SM trying to wreck us on I-10 in sight of home. But that’s another story.

My neck... my back, my silky smooth crack

So there was a time when I was doing bike trials in Big Tony and Jaysun's backyard - which happened to be owned by Ken at the time. It was great. Brent and I would go over there with a couple of 40s and try to ride through the maze of skinny boards, tall wooden spools and other hateful obstacles. The maze wove in and out of trees and pretty much covered the yard. With the beer flowing, industrial work lights on and music blaring, it was a recipe for oneupmanship. I bet you cant do this, I bet you want do that - you get the drill. So we'd ride for hours with brakes chattering from the roofing tar on our rims (awesome braking power). I loved it. Then one night something clicked - in a bad way. In my early to mid 20s, I found myself barely able to walk and having to go to a series of doctors just to be able to sleep, let alone walk. I've never been cut on but I know that type of pain. That's because I am very familiar with it. It took four of five times of this type of episode for me to give up trials. That still bums me out. This pain is exacerbated by my neck. Trying to keep up with my brothers in high school, I jacked my neck up bench pressing way to much weight. I feel that every day.

But... Spanish mackerel will tell you I'm full of shit. Anybody that has these types of pains will tell you "it only hurts when I do this". I can remember being on the shop floor with a full bag of party ice bellyaching during the day, then at night grinding on some chic on the beer garden dance floor at Bullwinkle's. I mean just working it. We were all tore up and Steve looked over and gave me the "I don't ever want to hear about your back again" speech. We all hurt. But Bump and Grind only happens once a year. Everybody is going this year and my brother is wearing a skirt - his punishment for the slowest lap time last year. He's wearing it in a bid to pass it off to me - the odds on favorite for slowest lap this year. Saturday night will not only feature good food and good times, it is when you pick up your time slot (you get to negotiate your time bonus). What I'm trying to say is get in the truck bitch. All together now - let's pile on HWB so that he makes the trip.

Dragon

Sunday Morning Ride on a Monday Afternoon

Well that was fun. Nice little ride on a Monday afternoon felt easy like a Sunday morning. Most of the fellas were there but some were missed. The worm and Big Jim were on stupid bikes. The rest of us were rollin on dualies. Chris neglected to tell everyone that he had to put in two hard hours. So when we got to the Fern, he pretty much hammered everybody. Chill on Goose Pond then hammer on both sections of Cadillac and the bucket loop. I hate him now and my legs hate him. It's weird how all the different personalities, ages, ride styles and fitness levels seemed to click. It was a very cool ride.

Dragon

WTF, where is everybody?

So I'm totally bummed. We need to get the band back together. When are we going to have a regular Sunday ride again? When are we going to have a lunch on Thursday again? All the lurkers in the house say yaya!

K sizzle

I LIKES ME SOME...

TCBY (large cup of chocolate/strawberry mix)

Fig Newton’s on a road trip with the fellas

Beer after a particularly hard day at the office

Red Wine after a particularly hard day at the office

Good singletrack with very few sharp corners

Road biking on a road with very few sharp corners

Bikechain.com/bikeposse

Time away with Mrs. Slade

Market Diner in Thomasville

F150

Jimmy Durante and Dean Martin

Epic Saturday

Steve having a happy (gay) moment

The fellas

lil' Ronnie leading the way

Suns out guns out

Another happy (gay) moment

Tired

A year and a half ago, before I started riding bikes again, I was a fat sorry mess. My weight was over 200lbs and I felt like crap every day. My typical day consisted of: getting up going to work; eating a BIG meal at lunch; go home; eat a snack/drink a coke (maybe a beer); cook BIG dinner then eat it (while watching biggest loser) while sitting in my lazy boy; another snack before bed (mmmm Oreos and milk); sleep. I was so out of shape that I’d get winded walking from the house to the mailbox. A doctor’s visit put a little fear into me when he started talking about high cholesterol and chances of diabetes. It was time to get motivated so I started running then eventually riding bikes again.

So now I’ve lost a little weight (need to lose more), and get plenty of cardio. Funny thing is….I’M STILL TIRED. Granted, this is a different kind of tired. Me and the boys did intervals on the mountain bikes last night. They (the intervals) were particularly brutal this time. I’m not one of those people who ever had a need to puke during or after a workout, but last night was about as close as I’ve ever come. Silk and Marko swear that these things will make us faster, and they better be right (intervals = no fun). It was good to have Spanish Mackeral and Brother Kent join me and Marko for the painfest.

Tonight is the “Joe’s” ride. A special appearance by lil’ Ronnie visiting from North Cuba will make the ride extra fun. Don’t know if my legs have much pep in ‘em, but I’m looking forward to the ride.

Wish I could go back home and crawl into bed and take a long nap instead of sitting in an office all day. Oh yea, in case I didn’t mention it…..I’m freakin TIRED!

Peace and Love Baby

This blog has been missing something the last few days, PEACE AND LOVE.

Hey, group hug…..I love you guys!

Let the verbal assaults begin. I can take it.

Who else....

Had a good ride today?

click click

So, this past weekend had us driving to Athens and Winder for some more bike racing. Saturday was Ft Yargo for a pre-ride and post Xterra excitement. Mostly just me getting an Xterra race shirt which features a picture of yours truly on it. I hear they are going for $60 on ebay already so pick one up while the prices are still relatively low. Saturday night was a trip to Athens (where we stayed) to watch the Athens Twilight Crit. The crit was cool, same as usual - 'cept this time there wasn't quite as much beer and not near as much walking around. After little sleep, and a longer-than-expected commute, I was a little late getting to the race. I had about a five minute warmup and a sick stomach from stuffing down poptarts and muffins an hour earlier. Oh, and I had a frozen Jimmy Dean sausage biscuit also. Read about that little dietary secret in the Carmichael training systems book. Late to the line, absolutely and competely in last place on the start out of 26 finely tuned racing machines. Pick my way up into the top ten and have to fight off a late bloomer in the closing minutes of the race. I beat him, but he made me hurt. Nothing like reaching your MHR after 2.5 hours of racing and holding it there for 3-5 minutes. Well, no podium for me and Tally was calling my name. Me an the 'ol lady headed out before the white wave was over. We didn't get to see our boys finish, but we got the updates on the road. I hated leaving early, but it sure was nice to be home at 6:30 (they got back at 9:30). After half sleeping through work all day, I finally got a chance to see the results posted on the goneriding website. Not too bad. My lap times weren't consistent, but they consistently fell off as many others did. I am starting to recognize some of the names in my class and seeing how I beat them sometimes and they get me sometimes. Looks like everyone is picking up the pace since Macon, except for me. I am pretty sure my problem is the lack of rest leading up to the race and some very poor nutrition choices. With better planning and more rest, I really hope that I can serve it up to some my middle-of-the-packers at the next race. All in all, I am happy with it and very proud to be competing at this level. As for the others, well, BW looked to really be putting in a good fight on the first lap. I think his mind was writing fitness checks from Donald Trump's/Ryan Woodall's (depending on your own interpretation) account; unfortunately his legs and lungs were trying to cash them at his bank. He will have to recap the race, since I wasn't there. BJS dished on his blog about his race. Here is the recap of BJS's race - taken from the wonderful Big Jim Blog (since he refuses to write on here)..."Then there’s my race. No doubt I had become spoiled after winning the first two races in this series. I may have been a little overconfident (but I don’t think so). I knew I was in trouble during my warm-up. The legs felt really tired (not a good sign). I figured they would come around near the end of the warm-up but they never did. So I line up, Dave yells go and we’re off. I had a horrible start. In the woods about 5th place. I figure if I can just keep the leaders in sight that I’d be OK, but I just wasn’t feeling it on this day. I lost sight of a couple of the guys. Then, of course, I get mixed up with the slower guys in the classes that went off before me. I road clean, but again the legs just didn’t feel fast. When I crossed the line I had no idea where I placed. I was very disappointed in my race and my effort. When it was all said and done I got 3rd out of 19 guys. If this was a Florida series race I would have been very please, but considering this is GA where the competition if nothing like FL, I felt let down."

Just remember: fast is fun, slower is faster, it's all chicken but the bone, lips on my belly, good food and good times.