By my count, we've got 9 Chain Gangers rolling to Fernandina, Saturday, for the 2nd round of the Florida State Championship Series. I know of at least 2 more showing up Sunday morning.
Personally, I've been tired from the race travel, but a couple of months off does wonders for, or to, the psyche. This race was on my "schedule, so I could race my 29er at least once, and with my sketchy ankle, not too many courses are agreeable. This one is flat, fast, and not too rough, so here goes.
Next thing I know, BikeChain is a round sponsor. Let's hear it for K-Dub's vision, or madness! Either way, you gotta back your brother's play. Chain Gangers en masse. They're coming out of the woodwork for this one. Human Wrecking Ball is on his 15th racer reincarnation. We can rebuild him. He will will be stronger. He will be faster. He may blow sky high, but the tales afterward will be enthusiastic and entertaining! Longshanks will be expanding his views from the inside of the expert torture chamber. Silk will be debuting his latest Frankenbike. Spanish Mackerel heard the trumpets calling from his place in the clouds, and will drift earthward for a weekend with the boys. Clearly, Big Jim Slade has not had enough to fret about since the GA Series, so he's jumped on board. Even New Baby Daddy, Marcus, is looking to participate in the race foolishness. It's probably a lot easier than the new baby madness that's been his reality, lately. Derwood has started threatening us with his RV racermobile. If we go over in that rig...God help us! No, really! I mean God help us. I'd like to actually arrive, and a little divine influence could go a long way.
If you find yourself along the North Florida Atlantic Coast this weekend, and there are a bunch of hyped up, lycra clad, mountain bike kooks buzzing the beach line, look around for the BikeChain tent. Stop by and say hello, but beware, if you get a little madness on you, we are not responsible.
Fine Print: BikeChain madness may stain. You may be able to get it out with seltzer water, but I wouldn't know because I don't believe in froo froo stuff like seltzer water. You may find you like the stain, and that's ok. It's not like it's some sort of social stigma. Well, actually it is, but we kind of like social stigmas around here, so embrace it. If the stain is left too long, you may find yourself suffering side effects. Side effects may include: leg shaving, lycra wearing, mud splashing, bike part cravings, possible divorce due to inordinate amounts of riding time on weekends when you should be mowing the grass, planning your vacations around the 50 mile race you read about in Dahlonega, and having entirely too much fun with a bunch of two wheeled misfits who enjoy the same BikeChain, stain driven, side effects. Not so bad, huh? You may have noticed that anal leakage was nowhere in that list. Now you're gettin' it!
Personally, I've been tired from the race travel, but a couple of months off does wonders for, or to, the psyche. This race was on my "schedule, so I could race my 29er at least once, and with my sketchy ankle, not too many courses are agreeable. This one is flat, fast, and not too rough, so here goes.
Next thing I know, BikeChain is a round sponsor. Let's hear it for K-Dub's vision, or madness! Either way, you gotta back your brother's play. Chain Gangers en masse. They're coming out of the woodwork for this one. Human Wrecking Ball is on his 15th racer reincarnation. We can rebuild him. He will will be stronger. He will be faster. He may blow sky high, but the tales afterward will be enthusiastic and entertaining! Longshanks will be expanding his views from the inside of the expert torture chamber. Silk will be debuting his latest Frankenbike. Spanish Mackerel heard the trumpets calling from his place in the clouds, and will drift earthward for a weekend with the boys. Clearly, Big Jim Slade has not had enough to fret about since the GA Series, so he's jumped on board. Even New Baby Daddy, Marcus, is looking to participate in the race foolishness. It's probably a lot easier than the new baby madness that's been his reality, lately. Derwood has started threatening us with his RV racermobile. If we go over in that rig...God help us! No, really! I mean God help us. I'd like to actually arrive, and a little divine influence could go a long way.
If you find yourself along the North Florida Atlantic Coast this weekend, and there are a bunch of hyped up, lycra clad, mountain bike kooks buzzing the beach line, look around for the BikeChain tent. Stop by and say hello, but beware, if you get a little madness on you, we are not responsible.
Fine Print: BikeChain madness may stain. You may be able to get it out with seltzer water, but I wouldn't know because I don't believe in froo froo stuff like seltzer water. You may find you like the stain, and that's ok. It's not like it's some sort of social stigma. Well, actually it is, but we kind of like social stigmas around here, so embrace it. If the stain is left too long, you may find yourself suffering side effects. Side effects may include: leg shaving, lycra wearing, mud splashing, bike part cravings, possible divorce due to inordinate amounts of riding time on weekends when you should be mowing the grass, planning your vacations around the 50 mile race you read about in Dahlonega, and having entirely too much fun with a bunch of two wheeled misfits who enjoy the same BikeChain, stain driven, side effects. Not so bad, huh? You may have noticed that anal leakage was nowhere in that list. Now you're gettin' it!
9 comments:
Too funny. MY Chris is back.
Got a give props to the other half of Bike Chain - Marcus. He and I committed to dropping several Gerrr, when we didn't and don't have it.
Cool new Bike Chain gear hot off the presses so make sure you bring a little extra scratch so you can help us represent. The fine print - It'd be helpful if everyone bought a piece of Bike Chain gear.
Dragon
Good luck to the whole Chain Gang! Make them taste the orange and black.
too bad it doesn't fix anal leakage.
I'm a Bikechain whore so I'll take 5 of everything.
Good one Big Worm. This is a good read.
That post rocked balls! What kind of gear and how much money? Me wants gear! I am nauseous already, I can't wait to puke on the line. Boner stems rule!
Good post Chris. Yep, I am sure I am slow and way out of shape now. Too bad I can't say I am well rested. But, anything is easier that diaper duty. Watch out Ric, I am fresh off the pu pu .
Great post and race Chris! It was cool seeing so much black and orange out there today.
I had soooo much fun fellas! Thanks everybody!
I gotta say it was a good day at the races. There's no better crew to hang with than the BC.
Now where's my spanish textbook??....We gotta get Silk up to speed so he can defend himself!
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