Wednesday, May 27, 2009

My neck... my back, my silky smooth crack


So there was a time when I was doing bike trials in Big Tony and Jaysun's backyard - which happened to be owned by Ken at the time. It was great. Brent and I would go over there with a couple of 40s and try to ride through the maze of skinny boards, tall wooden spools and other hateful obstacles. The maze wove in and out of trees and pretty much covered the yard. With the beer flowing, industrial work lights on and music blaring, it was a recipe for oneupmanship. I bet you cant do this, I bet you want do that - you get the drill. So we'd ride for hours with brakes chattering from the roofing tar on our rims (awesome braking power). I loved it. Then one night something clicked - in a bad way. In my early to mid 20s, I found myself barely able to walk and having to go to a series of doctors just to be able to sleep, let alone walk. I've never been cut on but I know that type of pain. That's because I am very familiar with it. It took four of five times of this type of episode for me to give up trials. That still bums me out. This pain is exacerbated by my neck. Trying to keep up with my brothers in high school, I jacked my neck up bench pressing way to much weight. I feel that every day.

But... Spanish mackerel will tell you I'm full of shit. Anybody that has these types of pains will tell you "it only hurts when I do this". I can remember being on the shop floor with a full bag of party ice bellyaching during the day, then at night grinding on some chic on the beer garden dance floor at Bullwinkle's. I mean just working it. We were all tore up and Steve looked over and gave me the "I don't ever want to hear about your back again" speech. We all hurt. But Bump and Grind only happens once a year. Everybody is going this year and my brother is wearing a skirt - his punishment for the slowest lap time last year. He's wearing it in a bid to pass it off to me - the odds on favorite for slowest lap this year. Saturday night will not only feature good food and good times, it is when you pick up your time slot (you get to negotiate your time bonus). What I'm trying to say is get in the truck bitch. All together now - let's pile on HWB so that he makes the trip.


Dragon

12 comments:

BIGWORM said...

I sure hope 007 is that hot in his skirt! Glad to hear the sounds of reluctant commital in your voice, Ol'Man. I look forward to the trip up, almost as much as I look forward to the trail itself.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I really want to go and I know you mean well Dragon, but I simply can't afford another two month set back. If I go I will ride, and likely race, and if I crash or injur my neck, I'd be off the bike again and I can't live with that. Believe me when I say, I hate missing every ride, and the thought of you guys at Bump without me sucks, but I have to be smart this time because nutting up hasn't worked for me lately.
It means a lot to me that you want me there, but I have to pass this time, so I can make my way back to the weekly crew rides.
Thanks Man,
HWB

bikechain said...

HWB, you could go and drink beer and sell bike parts with me on Saturday. Or, pre-ride with the fellas on Staurday and spectate on Sunday.

Double Nought Seven said...

HWB, you should go, as for you reacing, not going to happen! You will have an ugly white man wearing a plaid blue skirt kick your ass if you attempt to get on the bike. But you should come, I remember when you attended after your last surgery and were there for support and I must admit, it was nice to have you there. So, nut and come support, player harker and call the people into look at parts! Based on my times last year, I should get like 15 minutes from BW, 13 from Mingo, 28 from Cuz, 31 from Silk, I will take 10 from the Mackeral and 20 from Big Jim. That's a fair initial offer based on last years times.

Juancho said...

I'm sure BUMP needs an emcee.

Unknown said...

leave your bike at home, bring one or both of the boys, your crew calls.

RickySilk said...

If I get in the money I'll donate 5% of my winnings to the "Take A Terry to BUMP" fund.

BIG JIM said...

You don't get this kind of love on the JV squad.

bikediet said...

C'mon Terry, we have no one to throw off their camelbak at the top of the climb.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

That made me laugh. I love all you guys, but as you all know I have no self preservation switch. If I go I will go all Fred Flintstone on your ass and charge the ride. I will need a neurosurgeon, a divorce attorney, and a place to live. I am going to hide from all of you till Monday.
You guys better bring back some bling. BCFL!

bikechain said...

Mark, the camel back comment was solid...

BIG JIM said...

We need a race report soon Mr. Bikechain.